Tribute to Chuck Norris facts

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.
Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
Chuck Norris once vacationed in the Virgin Islands. Since then, they are called „The Islands“.
The Dead Sea is so called because Chuck Norris once swam in it.
Kids in college smoke marijuana. Chuck Norris smokes kids…
When Chuck Norris reads a bedtime story you sleep forever.
Chuck Norris does not read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can crush diamonds into liquid form.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris ate them all.
Lions hunt in groups, Chuck Norris hunt groups of lions alone.
Chuck Norris invented gravity to give himself a challenge
God created the Earth. Chuck Norris created God.
Chuck Norris doesn’t walk on water, he prefers to fly
The bible was originally named „Chuck Norris and friends“
God once said, „Let There Be Light“, and Chuck Norris said „Say Please…“
Chuck Norris has the original signed Bible
Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Chuck Norris wasn’t born with feet, just boots.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this „a slow Tuesday.“
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
Chuck Norris doesn’t step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.